Dear Kraft Foods,
I admit that it may be odd that my theology is informed mainly through television commercials, but I have a few questions about heaven as it is portrayed in your ad campaign for Philadelphia Cream Cheese.
The first topic about which I am curious concerns the female angel who appears in these commercials. Am I right in assuming that since she is in heaven she must be dead? If so, what did she die of? Was it an accidental death, or did she have health problems? When she died, was she as young as she appears? Or did she die in a much older state and revert to a younger appearance? Or is it the case that she simply always existed as an angel?
Second, I am also curious about her manservant. Does slavery exist in heaven? Is he forced to serve as a manservant because he sinned in life? Or is it the case that although he willingly lived a submissive lifestyle, he was a virtuous man, and his eternal reward is that he is allowed to serve this heavenly dominatrix?
I'm a little confused about how this all fits together, and I would definitely appreciate some answers to these queries so that I can be better prepared for the afterlife.
"Kraft - Online Team2"
Subject: RE: Your Comment/Question
Date: Fri, 30 Dec 2005 17:18:51 -0500
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